1. I’m bored with my music. I was told by my brother in law that I’m listening to grandma’s songs. Since I want to please my in laws (and I want to do it for me, too!) I need new songs, new groups, new everything. I need YOU to recommend me songs so I can Pandora them and that way get more and more new songs!! (Hint: I’m not very into heavy metal)
2. Blogging has become like a burden to me. I’ve had so many things to do, and I feel bad for not reading other blogs as often as I wish and/or blogging about interesting worthy-of-reading stuff. How do you get over that? It didn’t help that the IT dpt at work decided to monitor our internet usage either. Now I have to read from my iphone and despite my love for it, it’s kind of hard to comment or finish reading my daily 150-post reading list. Maybe I need a little break.
3. I’ve found a new obsession. And I’ve been way into it for over a month. I can’t share my obsession here yet, but believe me, it’s been sucking the energy/time/inspiration for blogging out of me.
4. I’ve realized that I’m not so welcomy to new people/friends anymore. There are some ‘new’ girls trying to join my awesome-super-trustworthy-loving circle of friends and I’m not very excited about it. It’s not that I don’t like them – I do. There’re just a lot of feelings going on when I think about it. I feel vulnerable, exposed. I fear our ties might loosen up from each other as our little group of 5 grows into a group of 8. I fear I might lose my real friends to let other acquaintances in my little circle. I know this sounds really selfish and insecure but I just can’t help it. I haven’t felt this way with friends for a very very long time. I have tons of friends, but really close friends (call it BFF it you want) are just 2 or 3. Friends that I feel totally comfortable with, that I can express myself and whatever comes out of my mouth I know for sure it won’t rub them the wrong way, and they will know I’m not being mean, or rude, or careless. Even blogging, I can feel the self-censoring going on. (Is it ok if I say this? Would someone take it the wrong way? Is this topic too sensitive to joke about?) Anyway, I always thought of myself as someone really open to everyone, someone with a motto of ‘the more the merrier’ but I guess not. Not now. I can hang out with them, but include them in every gathering we have would be too much to ask from me.
I can feel a tiny bit of guilt. Please feel free to be honest so I can get over myself.
Any thoughts?
Labels: blabbing, the girlfriendhood
Hey! You shouldn't feel obligated to blog, then it becomes a chore. And that's not enjoyable. If you need to take a break, take one and don't beat yourself up about it. We all go through these blogging funks. (I have one about once a month)
As for music try; Stephanie Dosen, Ingrid Michealson, Tegan and Sara, Automatic Loveletter. They're all good and not metal. :)
As far as friends, think that you're lucky to have your 2-3 BFF. REAL, TRUE good friends are hard to find. You can never have too many acquaintances but I understand your hesitance. I've been burned by friends before and sometimes it's hard to build that trust back up and let new people in. A little different from your situation but similar in some ways!
And for blogging, blog as much or as little as you like. Sometimes I get wrapped up in feeling pressured to post every day and commenting on every blog I read, but at the end of the day you're blogging for YOU and sometimes we all need a break!
about the blogging... i was feeling the same way until i read this about "blogging without obligation":
http://www.tartx.com/blog/?page_id=233
good stuff!
as far as music goes, you can see some of what i listen to on my blog - nothing too new & exciting probably;-P