About This & That

Driving to work is always a drag. People driving reaaaally slow on the passing lane, people driving slow on both lanes at the same time (no way to go around), people driving like tourists and just looking out the window and pointing at things. I get so frustrated.

Well, I have noticed I’m a very aggressive driver. And very competitive. Nobody can pass me; nobody will drive faster than me. Nobody will slow me down without getting a nasty look from me when I’m driving next to them and passing them. I know I shouldn’t drive like that but it just drives me insane. Even more when there are people on their cellphones and they don’t even notice that the 40-mile road is way behind and we’re now on the 60-mile road. Step on the gas people!!!

And women. Oh boy, women are SUCH bad drivers. (I guess myself included) All just looking at anything but the road, all on their cellphones, all looking behind to the car seat where a kid is seating. It’s so irresponsible. I just get SO PISSED OFF.

J has been observing my driving manners and adviced me I should mellow out and relax. ‘There’s no rush, you don’t have to drive so fast’ he says. I KNOW THAT. So on Sunday we were talking about my bad driving habits and I mention my good driving record with no tickets. I smile. J says we don’t need my first ticket coming and increasing our insurance so ‘don’t be too proud of yourself yet because you’ve been lucky and no cops had spotted you yet’. And then he compared me to one of my friends that no one wants to ride with, because she’s kind of careless and drives really fast. Obviously I didn’t like that so I made myself a promise of slowing down and thought I don’t want to be like her, I don’t want people saying NO to ride with me, I don’t want to be like her, I don’t want to be like her.

I got in my car on Monday morning and started driving. I don’t want to be like her. The road is a little wet as it’s starting to rain. I pulled off my driveway and try to relax. I don’t want to be like her. On my way to I have to drive on a 55-mile road, which changes into a 45-mile road and then back to 55, and then down to 40. I don’t want to be like her. So here I am, driving really nicely and feeling pretty proud of myself. And then when the road changes from 55 to 40 I get stuck behind this idiot driving at 30 miles an hour. I don’t want to be like her. I don’t want to be like her. I’m getting frustrated.

Try. to. keep. it. cool.

It’s ok, you don’t have to drive so fast, Melissa. You’re just fine. I don’t want to be like her.

But I can’t. I change lanes, go around it and look over the car. It’s a woman on her phone. OF COURSE IT IS. I’m so pissed. Now she looks over and notices I’m trying to pass her and speeds up. Oh girl, don’t mess with me. I’m going to pass you even if it’s the last thing I’m doing in my life.

Step on the gas and YES! I passed her. HA! VICTORY!! You idiot. Now watch and learn.

I’m feeling pretty good with myself. I love that feeling. Victory. Then I see the light changing to red and I start slowing down. I look at my rear view mirror and there she is looking all defeated. Then for the tiny little second I looked at my mirror I totally missed the cop sitting on his car on a side street. SHIT. Shit. Shit. Shit.

OH please God, make him look away. Please, please, please.

I see him leaving his spot and pulling right behind me.

Ok, I’m done. DONE. J is going to kill me.

We pull over and he comes over my window. I think really fast and go over my options.

Beg.

No, cry.

No! Have some pride. Just beg.

I couldn’t even beg too much I was so nervous. (He was kinda sexy too) I apologized for going fast as he says I was going 50 on a 40-mile road. Damn. He goes into his car and comes back with my ticket. He says the ticket is for going 5 miles over the limit and that he’s being nice. I take the ticket and drive away.

I’m writing this from heaven, sitting on my nice puffy cloud because Jeremy did kill me.

It’s nice to be able to blog in heaven.

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PS. Ok, he didn’t kill me but if you notice I don’t blog anymore then call 9-1-1 and look for my body.

PS2. Just kidding!! He didn’t kill me, he was actually really nice about it.

PS3. I have to send a check for $82 or go and beg that they void it because it’s my first ticket and it’s just for going 5 over the limit. It’s just not fair (or is it?) If it would have been for one of those days when I drove at 80 on a 55-mile road, then ok, I won’t fight. But this one I might fight for. I shall let you know the outcome next week…